Parenting and grad school: the real talk about meeting this challenge
As a graduate student, you have already achieved a great deal of success in your academic pursuits. However, you may also face challenges unique to your situation. That's why I'm excited to introduce Professor Leila Ladani, a Faculty Fellow at the Graduate College and my featured guest blogger this month; she is a professor who is also a mother and has faced many obstacles in her journey to earn a degree.
In this conversation, Leila will share her experiences as a student and a new mother. She will discuss how she balanced coursework demands with the responsibilities of raising a family and will also explore the emotional toll that this can take and offer advice on how to cope with the stress and anxiety that often accompany this situation. Also, she will delve into the resources she has found helpful in building a community of support for international students specifically.
One of the biggest challenges that student-parents face is the feeling of isolation. It can be difficult to connect with others who understand the burden of juggling competing responsibilities. Whether you are currently in this situation or simply interested in learning more about it, this discussion will offer valuable insights. We hope this Q&A will help build a sense of connection and support among the Sun Devil community.
-- Dean Wentz, Vice Provost and Dean, Graduate College
Please tell us a little about yourself, your work here and why ASU!
My name is Leila Ladani! I am a professor of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering; I joined ASU in 2019 as the director of the Polytechnic School, one of the Fulton Schools of Engineering. I received my PhD from the University of Maryland, and since then, I have been researching mechanics, materials and manufacturing. I oversee the operations of the Manufacturing Innovation Center (MAGIC), guiding and mentoring several PhD and MS students. In addition, I am responsible for managing the Manufacturing Innovation Recharge Center.
I’m also involved in a few other endeavors. Namely, I am the Principal Investigator and Director of the NSF National Research Traineeship Program on Design and Manufacturing of Biomedical Devices and Implants. In that position, I hope to bridge the gap between STEM education and medicine.
What are some of your responsibilities as a Graduate Fellow?
As a graduate faculty fellow, I'm involved in formulating post-baccalaureate guidelines and programs designed to equip our students for the challenges of the newly established ASU medical school. Students must have the proper strategies to transition from an array of bachelor's degrees to medical school. I work on ensuring that happens by addressing the needs of students who still need specific prerequisites. I want to provide the background and education to bridge those gaps.
You shared the difficulties finding childcare as an international graduate student. Can you elaborate on your experience? What challenges did you face? How did you manage? As a result, what life choices did you have to make?
During the initiation of my master’s program in Mechanical Engineering, my first child was born, which resulted in many challenges. Balancing the responsibilities of a new mother, adapting to sleepless nights, and simultaneously navigating the demands of a graduate student was emotionally taxing. Leaving my infant at home for classes was not only heartbreaking but also immensely stressful. I experienced guilt for not providing undivided attention to my child and the challenge of balancing studying, exams and thesis research.
Despite this, I remained committed to pursuing my PhD at the University of Maryland. Being a young and inexperienced parent to an energetic toddler and financial constraints created formidable obstacles (the strain intensified during exam periods). Nevertheless, during my academic journey, I earned two MS degrees and a PhD and received the SMTA Hutchins Grant, the Amelia Earhart Award and the Goldhaber Travel Award.
Paradoxically, the experience of parenthood became a powerful motivator to excel. I was able to graduate with honors and secure a tenure-track assistant professorship. Managing stress effectively became a crucial skill that really benefited me and my family.
What do you wish did differently?
I'm a perfectionist, so I consistently set high standards, inadvertently making life more challenging. This tendency heightened my anxiety and stress levels. When I reflect, I could have benefited from a more flexible approach, understanding the importance of prioritization and letting go of certain things. However, the constant worry about the future was a natural response, particularly in an insecure and unstable environment.
Looking back, I believe that having a support system during my graduate studies would have alleviated this anxiety, allowing me to focus on the present and cherish moments with my family. Universities can play a pivotal role in assisting international students to establish support and community. Support may involve creating an environment where students feel safe sharing their challenges and providing access to resources.
It can also be instrumental to go to therapy, do mindfulness exercises, schedule time off, take family-oriented field trips and attend cultural events and initiatives that help families integrate into the new culture. Such measures can significantly contribute to international students' well-being.
What would you tell students in similar situations?
I consistently reminded myself that challenging situations are temporary and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Maintaining resilience and a strong work ethic became my guiding principles. I firmly believe in never giving up and following a path of unwavering integrity. Cheating may offer a momentary advantage but only leads to more challenges in the long run.
Every piece of knowledge acquired contributes to personal growth and resilience. This perspective encouraged me to approach learning purposefully, knowing that every skill would eventually become relevant.
In recognizing my tendency to dwell on the past or fret about the future, I've actively tried to live in the present. Learning to minimize worries and embrace current experiences has been a valuable lesson. The perspective of being thankful for what I have, rather than fixating on what I lack, has improved my outlook. Focusing on gratitude makes life more enjoyable and creates a sense of contentment.
Google Scholar - Prof. Leila Ladani